27 Elul 5783/September 13, 2023

by Rabbi David N. Young

My family and I moved across the country this summer. My wife Natalie and I have three children. Our oldest stayed in California where they attend college, and our younger two came with us. At 16 and 13 years old, Natalie and I were concerned about how such a move would affect them.

When we told the children, our eldest reacted as suspected: “I don’t care, I live at school.” Our middle said, “I’m angry and upset, but not at the two of you.” Our youngest said, “I just changed schools this year and had to make all new friends, so I can do it again.”

What perfect responses! One acknowledges that the change will not affect them, one will be emotionally distraught but will try not to take it out on us, and one is confident in her ability to resocialize in a new school. As a parent I could not be prouder, and as a teacher I see great examples for dealing with change. We can acknowledge it as happening to someone else and move on, we can deal with the pain in a positive way, or we can roll with it and accept the changes as they are presented to us.

As we approach Rosh Hashanah and all of the potential changes that come with a new year, I pray that I can deal with changes as well as my children. May we all tap into positive reactions to changes that are out of our control.