Elul 20/September 2

Rabbi Andrew Rosenkranz

A passage in our Talmud declares: “A loved one – you do not see his faults. And a hated one – you do not see his merits.”

There are faults and merits in everyone, including – of course – ourselves. Sometimes the prejudices we hold against each other, both bad and good, can cloud how we view our relationships with each other. An adult child, for instance, may be incapable in your eyes of doing any wrong. Or a sometimes ornery neighbor who gives a wave across the street is incapable in your eyes of being sincere.

First impressions mean so much to us. But we know that people grow and change. After all, that’s why we go to synagogue during the High Holy Days, to evaluate how we have become different people. Reflecting on our relationships allows us to each discern the different roles we should be playing in the lives of our family, friends, and even the neighbors on our streets. As a result, you may find yourself happily waving back to the neighbor, or providing helpful counsel to your child.

So it’s important to remember: we grow and change, but so does everyone else.

May we continue to go from strength to strength.