Elul 22/September 4

On Fridays, we email two Elul Thoughts, out of respect for those of us who choose not to look at email on Shabbat. We wish you a blessed and restful Shabbat and hope you continue finding inspiration in our Elul Thoughts. 

Rabbi Deana Sussman Berezin

Our journey towards the High Holy Days begins long before Rosh Hashanah. It actually begins at Tisha B’Av. And with it comes the invitation to recognize the key places in our lives that need realignment, a chance to turn towards something new. The work of teshuvah begins now.

Rabbi Alan Lew, z”l, taught that we begin by facing what is broken rather than turning away from it. Only when we sit amidst our own crumbling walls, amidst our own grief, can we become conscious of how to move forward in a new way. 

Over the course of a year, we harm and we experience harm. We are sometimes unkind. We wound people we care about. We wound ourselves. We do not walk away from those experiences unchanged. And so, the question is not Have I been changed? Rather, we ask, How have I been changed?

Elul invites us to sit honestly with that question. Where do we bear the imprints of heartache upon souls? Have our experiences made us more guarded or more compassionate? More fearful or more courageous? More withdrawn from community or more willing to reach out? 

Our experiences shape who we are. Heartbreak leaves its mark. But through the work of teshuvah, we still have a voice in who we become. 

May this time of reflection and renewal give us the courage to see what is broken, the wisdom to learn from it, and the strength to realign ourselves as we walk a new path.

Elul 23/September 5

Rabbi Benjamin A. Sharff 

One of my greatest struggles during this season is not seeking forgiveness from those whom I have hurt, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Rather, I find the hardest path to forgiveness is often towards myself. Meaning, forgiving myself for the mistakes I have made that have hurt myself psychologically, emotionally, or physically.

These are the mistakes of procrastination, self-indulgence, self-pity, despair, and denying myself the ability to be present, especially for those I most love and want to be there for. One can say this is the sacred work not just of a spiritual journey but also of therapy. It requires time of self-examination and self-reflection that often is the most difficult of journeys. 

I wonder why it is so easy to recognize when we hurt others, but so hard to see when we hurt ourselves. I think part of it is because we can often see the impact. Pain in another person’s eyes is much easier to recognize than perhaps the pain in our own eyes. Also, we live with ourselves all of the time. Therefore, we can often excuse the actions we take towards ourselves, justifying them as simply part of how we navigate the day.

Lest we forget, true teshuvah, is not just turning or returning towards God and holiness, but at its core, it is also about turning towards our best selves. To do this, we have to be willing to forgive ourselves, so that we can truly find new pathways to become the people we aspire to be.