Elul 3/August 16

Rabbi Neal Katz

In the mid-1990s, I worked for NFTY in Israel as a counselor and song leader. On one trip, we had a student who repeatedly crossed the line. That’s not unusual—16- and 17-year-olds push boundaries. But after multiple incidents, we had to send him home.

It was hard. The group was shocked, the student was embarrassed, his parents were upset, and we as counselors felt uncomfortable. We weren’t even sure we were right. But we followed the policy to protect the group.

Twenty years later, a colleague from that trip told me a story. At a wedding, a guest approached him and said he was that student.

My colleague braced himself.

But the man said: “Being sent home that summer was the best thing that ever happened to me. I kept pushing, assuming nothing would happen. Then it did. I was embarrassed, and I had to face it. Over time, I came to appreciate it. It changed how I behaved. It made me take responsibility. It shaped who I became.”

I was struck—not just by the honesty, but by the growth.

We don’t always know how rebuke lands. But Jewish tradition demands accountability. Without it, there is chaos.

During Elul we reflect on both giving and receiving rebuke. Not only calling others out, but asking whether we’ve listened when others have challenged us.

May we have the maturity to hear it, grow from it, and move a step closer to redemption.