12 Elul 5783/August 29, 2023

by Rabbi Stephen Wise

I officiate around a dozen weddings each year, mostly in the warm months here in Ontario between May and September. I find that while people occur in a dazzling variety of forms and personalities, there are two types of couples – those who believe they were destined for each other and those who do not. Some feel instantly when they met that they were meant for each other. Some felt a more gradual process of coming to love each other and seeing their relationship deepen over time. I don’t know if one is right or the other, think they are both right. You can know it at once and it can also take time to develop. When I think back at the moment I met my wife I knew this was something special, and just because we were sitting on the floor of the Ulam at summer camp as staff didn’t mean I couldn’t see my future with her. I was in love within days and within a year I was convinced she was the one though I didn’t actually pop the question until 4 years later. And I also believe that my life changed for the better from that moment, I had clarity on my career, I felt I could become who I was meant to be. Pirkei Avot says everything is foreseen and freewill is in your hands. Maybe there are moments when you too sense that something is happening, change is in the air, you are ready to become who you were meant to be and maybe that time is now.